"if given the choice i would direct every episode of the show for free"





"anytime someone wears a picture of themselves
drawn by themselves on their own shirt you can--
yeah i feel like a jerk"





"i might sound like a pretentious psychopath"





"my family still knows i'm an idiot, thank god"





"my six pack is better then shemar's
tell shemar i said my six pack is a little better then his
it's a seven pack"


 "tomorrow night all order is suspended and the barriers
between the natural and the supernatural are temporarily removed"



"why does everyone in l.a. dress like they
are from some horrible version of the future?"



"i have no idea how i managed to slime my way onto prime time t.v.
but i am impressed with myself"



"i've never really seen crime shows other than murder she wrote"



"i never in a million years thought i would be an actor"

"i was like 'they really wanna cast me?'
and they were like 'yeah' and i was like 'cool'"