i kind of have this...really terrible habit of asking myself all

these stupid questions, right? like what if uh… what if there's a

spot on my body that i can touch to stop my heart from beating? or

like, what if, what if there's this uh...stray bullet out there that’s

gonna come through my window and take me out? like what if uh...

what if there's this huge unstoppable comet that’s just gonna like,

destroy the earth and all of us? like what...what if that’s happening

right now? how can i avoid all these questions if i don't have that?

like, who is gonna be here? why...who is gonna be there... in the

hospital? who is gonna tell me that all this is bullshit...it's a

dream? just a dream. this is not a joke. and uh...i'll never sleep

who will be there to tell me how stupid i am?
who will keep me from lashing out?
anxiety chokes me like razor wire